


My Name is Luke (Boy Band)

by infernalstars



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Alex Mercer Has the Brain Cell (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex is very supportive, Alex uses she/her pronouns, Coming Out, Gen, Hurt Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), Luke Patterson-centric (Julie and The Phantoms), Non-Binary Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Trans Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), Trans Male Character, my name is luke is a trans anthem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:00:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28112046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/infernalstars/pseuds/infernalstars
Summary: in which Luke Patterson is trans & the song My Name is Luke is a trans anthem
Comments: 12
Kudos: 73





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello! sooo what i've written here is kinda written from personal experience i did almost exactly what luke did in february of this year so...very authentic 
> 
> also alex uses she/her pronouns (not the whole fic) and reggie uses xe/xem (but not in this fic, xe hasn't discovered them yet)
> 
> minor tw for dysphoria, and references to self harm

Luke sat on his bed, crying. He was wrapped up in an oversize hoodie, chunks of hair laid all over the hardwood floor around him. 

He heard a knock on the door and could only assume it was his mom. He shouted for her to go away. Leave him alone. 

It would only cause more distress. He didn't feel like having to calm himself down all over again. He knew she’d be upset about the hair cut, and he didn't want to deal with it. 

He curled into the blanket further, suppressing a sob. 

“[Deadname], it’s Reggie,” a voice said outside. “Your mom let Alex and I in. You didn’t show up to practice so we came to check on you.” 

“It’s just you and Alex,” Luke asked quietly, sitting up. 

“Yeah. Your dad’s next door and your mom left to go to the store,” Alex said quietly. “Please just...we want to make sure you’re okay…” 

Luke hesitated before getting up and opening the door. 

It took Reggie one second to take in his appearance and pull him into a hug. Luke wrapped his arms around his bandmate, burying his face into his neck. 

He held on tight. Reggie always gave the best hugs and it was exactly what he needed right now. It was warm and comforting--familiar. It helped him relax, it always did. 

“Did you fight with your mom again?” Alex asked as Luke stepped back. 

Luke shook his head. He really hadn’t been fighting with her nearly as much, he’d been shutting her out. He’d been shutting everyone out. He was miserable like this. 

Alex’s eyes flickered to the floor behind them. “Did you...you cut your hair?” 

Luke nodded, pulling his hood back. “I just...I don’t know what happened,” Luke sniffed, retreating to his bed again. “I couldn't help it.”

“It looks great,” Reggie assured him, moving to sit next to him. 

Luke nodded, watching Alex read the song laid out at his desk. He froze, starting to move to tell him to stop. 

He knew exactly what page was opened, what song he’s been working on before everything came crashing down. Before he frantically locked his door and was torn between cutting his hair or his wrists and wondered which was more self destructive. 

He cut off his hair, frantic at first, ink still staining his fingers. Once realization settled in, he worked to clean it up a bit more. 

The tears that fell now were out of relief not distress. For the first time he saw himself in the mirror. It felt great. 

But then dread settled in. He stared at the song, the words he wrote. His parents would kill him. 

Alex’s parents were assholes when he came out as gay, what if his parents were the same? Worse? 

He remembered Alex coming over, sobbing, the night he came out. His parents told him it was a phase, he was too young. Told him this was not a part of God’s plan for him. 

Luke held him, blocking out 

His thoughts hadn't stopped until Reggie and Alex came over.

“Did you write this?” Alex asks quietly, pointing to the notebook. 

Luke sat back, nodding. He lowered his eyes to the navy blue bedding, picking at it. 

“What is it?” Reggie asked. 

“A song. It’s called my name is Luke,” Alex said quietly. 

Reggie turned to Luke in confusion. 

“Mourn the girl I never was and will never be / Can you see me? Can you hear me? / I shout and scream / I’m buried six feet underneath / My name is Luke / Why can’t you hear me?” Alex read the words out loud for Reggie to hear. 

Luke’s heart thunders in his chest. He couldn’t look at them. He couldn’t even look at them. He felt the bed shift, knew Alex was sitting down next to him. 

“Is that what you want us to call you? You want us to call you Luke,” he whispered. 

Luke sniffled and nodded. 

“Wait what?” Reggie asked, always the last one to arrive at the answer. 

Luke looked up at him as Alex rolled his eyes. Alex did always have a bit of an attitude with Reggie. Luke suspected it was just him trying to flirt.

“Reggie, this is Luke. He’s a guy,” Alex gestured to their bandmate. 

“He--Oh! Oh my god!” Reggie gasped and hugged him. “Oh my god! Guys! We’re a boy band!” 

Luke returned the hug. He didn't think either of them would react so hasn't but he hadn't anticipated how easy it was. 

“We’re not a boy band!” Alex and Luke exclaimed causing the three to burst into laughter.

Alex pulled Luke into a hug. “Is now a good time to tell you I like she/her pronouns…” 

Luke’s face lit up. “Really? That’s awesome!” 

“Wait, are you a girl? No boy band?” Reggie frowned in confusion. 

“No, no. I’m not a girl, Reg. This is just what I’m more comfortable with.”

“And we’re still not a boy band,” Luke laughed, but secretly relished in the weird boost of euphoria being called a boy band gave him. 

Reggie nodded, absorbing this information. “I don’t have to use he/him pronouns…” 

“Nope,” Alex said, getting up disappearing to get a broom to sweep up the remnants of Luke’s DIY hair cut. 

They all watched him in silence. A comfortable silence and Luke could only stare at the notebook across the room. 

“I want to sing it to my parents whenever I tell them,” he said quietly. 

“It's a great song,” Alex smiled, sitting back down. 

“I don't think I like either pronouns,” Reggie said, lost in his thoughts as per usual. They both looked over to him. 

“Well, have you heard of neopronouns?” Luke asks, pulling his knees to his chest. 

“Neo--what’s that?” 

Luke reached under his mattress and handed Reggie a book about pronouns and gender that he checked out at the library. “It's gotta be back by the 20th but you can keep it for now.” 

Reggie flipped through it and his eyes widened. “Woah. Thanks man.”

Luke nodded. He got up, walking over to his notebook and scribbling down a lyric before closing it. 

_My name is Luke / And I am not alone._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the song, My Name is Luke

MY NAME IS LUKE 

Mourn the girl I never was and will never be   
I’m buried six feet underneath, why can't you hear me?  
I shout and scream My name is Luke   
Can you see me? Can you hear me?

And in the mirror, tell me what you see   
I can’t bear to look And see me painted pink 

I don’t want to let you down,   
just want to be painted blue 

Because my name is Luke   
Because my name is Luke.

Mourn the girl I never was and will never be   
I’m buried six feet underneath, why can't you hear me?  
I shout and scream My name is Luke   
Can you see me? Can you hear me?

Can you hear my voice   
Calling out into the night  
Praying to the sky for this to end  
For everything to be alright

I don’t to let you down,  
just want to be painted blue 

Because my name is Luke   
Because my name is Luke.

And maybe one day, I'll uncover all my mirrors   
I won't fear my reflection  
I'll claw myself out of this shell

I'll be painted in baby blue  
Cus I've never, never been so true

Mourn the girl I never was and will never be   
I’m buried six feet underneath, why can't you hear me?  
I shout and scream, my name is Luke   
Will you see me? Will you hear me?

My name is Luke   
And I know I’m not alone  
(Because my name is Luke x2?)

**Author's Note:**

> the next chapter is the song in full, i hope you enjoy ashasjhf


End file.
